To have good relationships we have to first look back at the beginning of Creation. God created the first relationship between people in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. When He created Adam he saw that it was not good for man to be alone so He created Eve to be his companion. God created us with a sense of community and need for relationships. If we truly want to have good relationships, we have to start with a firm foundation built on the solid principles of God.

When we discover a deeper relationship in Christ it flows over into our relationships with others. To grow those deeper relationships we have to be in constant communication with not only our Father in Heaven but also those who are our friends, boy/girlfriends, fiance’s, and spouses. We should be able to have conversations with those closest to us about our relationships. If we learn how to apply this and push through the awkward moments, we have a chance to affect a statistic that says most marriages end in failure. We have to inspire positive change within us.

Sometimes we get scared that our relationships will fall if we keep open communication with God and our significant other. On God’s side we get scared that if He takes control over our relationships that we might not get to keep the person that we are in a relationship with now. We also sometimes think that if we talk about issues that are awkward we could end up losing someone as well. We have to learn how to trust God first and be obedient to what He says, even if it means ending a relationship. Trust is vital to relational success. If we don’t learn to trust in God we will never be able to trust in others.

One of the most common mistakes that people make in relationships is not setting boundaries early in the relationship.  If we build our relationships correctly we can have the awkward conversation and set boundaries that will direct us in the way of purity, not promiscuity. If we really want to be different we need to rebel against the norm of breaking boundaries and set them in a way that is pleasing to God.

When relationships are built on the solid foundation of Christ, everything else will fall into place. Relationships won’t be so hard to figure out if we trust God and have open communication with Him about our relationships. He will direct us in a way that shows us what boundaries to follow so that we can remain pure in Him. We have to become different than the rest of the world and fight against the inward desire to do things on our own. One day we will be able to see more marriages working and relationships building. Change can only come when we decide to do relationships God’s way and not our way.

We hope that you have enjoyed the past weeks in our Awkward Relationship series. As this comes to a close, we hope that you are encouraged to pursue a relationship with God and allow for Him to control your earthly ones. Next week, we will be talking about some of the questions we have received about Dive Deep Ministries and announcing our new series to start on April 20. If you have any specific questions about our ministry that you would like to have incorporated into next week’s post, please send us an e-mail at kyle@divedeepministries.org.

Have a great week in the Lord!

Dive Deep,

KC

If we look back at the story of Samson we see a great example where God gave him boundaries, but Samson decided to go against them. Judges tells us that before Samson was born he was chosen to be a Nazarene, set apart by God to deliver Israel from the Philistines. God also gave Samson boundaries and commanded that he never cut his hair. As Samson grew up things were good. He was blessed by God and given great physical strength.  One day he was walking down the road and he saw a prostitute so he went to spend the night with her. This is where Samson’s downfall began with something that he probably didn’t think much of, but it significantly impacted the rest of the story.

Samson got into a habit of giving into women when they would nag him about things. After he saw the prostitute he saw another Philistine woman named Delilah and he fell in love with her. Out of Delilah’s greed and being bribed by the Philistines she began to ask him about what made him strong. At first he lied to her several times,  but she finally nagged him enough and he gave into her. He reveled the true reason he had strength was because he never cut his hair. That night Delilah shaved his head. The next morning she cried out to Samson that the Philistines were upon him. Samson discovered the Lord had left him and he no longer had the strength he had been blessed with by God. He decided to cross a boundary God had set for him. In the end of the story, Samson is killed by the Philistines.

There is much to be learned from Samson’s story and he exhibits many similarities to us. The Bible tells us that we are made in God’s image. Although we are born into sin, Jesus has redeemed us from sin. As Christ followers we are set apart from the rest of the world just as Samson was. We may not have super strength, but God is our strength. He has also set boundaries for us. When we cross over those boundaries we disappoint God. He doesn’t leave us, but He is saddened by our actions. We then must deal with the consequences of those actions.

God has given us some boundaries for relationships so we don’t end up like Samson. He is very clear in the Bible about intimacy before marriage and putting Him before everyone else. These boundaries are not set up to stop us from having fun, but to protect us from getting hurt. So many people constantly break boundaries in relationships and other areas of their lives. Since we live in a fallen world, as Christians we should be upholding the boundaries God has set forth. We are called to be different, not like the rest of the world. (Romans 12:2)

If we begin to follow the standards of purity that God has set for us, God will bless our actions. We need to strive to run from things that would make us compromise God’s standards. This is the only way we can be free to have relationships that are pleasing to God and truly enjoy the relationship. God wants your relationships to be set on Him, and follow His ideas makes for a much better ending than Samson had. We have to take a stand in this fallen world that we will follow the boundaries even when its not socially acceptable, because we know that our lives will be filled with greater treasure from God.

Sometimes we all stumble and cross some boundaries, even if they aren’t in relationships. We begin to feel like God hates us, and are afraid to come back to Him. The reason why Jesus died on the cross was to give us life! He wants us to come back to Him when we stray and cross boundaries. He seeks to restore us and help us though the pain of our mistakes.

If you have been living outside of the boundaries God has set for you, I encourage you to begin to come back to Him. It may feel awkward at first not only between you and God, but also in your relationships where you have been crossing boundaries. This may require some changes of you that are going to feel weird, but in the end God is worth it. He is longing for you to reach out to Him and lean on Him to get back on track. The greatest thing about God is that you can always come back. His love and forgiveness are always available. Boundaries protect us from spiritual, emotional, and sometimes even physical harm. God is our protector, and for Him to move in our lives we must live within His boundaries.

Dive Deep,

KC

The coolest thing about relationships is that they were not just some random idea that someone thought of, but God came up with the big idea in the first place. In the Garden of Eden, God saw that it was not good for man to be alone so He created woman. Maybe it was God trying to create a better version of man but we believe that when He created man, relationships were also created.  Adam and Eve were quite happy until they fell into sin and had an awkward moment when they tried to hide from God. They were ashamed, so they hid and were eventually thrown out of the Garden. The idea is that we can’t hide when we mess up our relationship with God, and we should strive to be more in tune with Him.

Some of the most common issues that create problems for relationships are bad communication, lack of trust, money or job issues, and selfishness. Relationships that have these problems in existence encounter many awkward moments. Communication is key to a successful relationship. We also must take time to listen to the other party and make an effort to understand what they are trying to tell us. Maybe communication problems will never go away, but we can improve our communication skills to overcome awkward moments in our relationships.

Relationships that do not have a strong basis of trust can create instability. If you think of a rock climber that is repelling down a mountain, that person has to fully trust their belay partner on the ground. If the belayer says they will take care of the climber and follows though with this, it builds greater trust. When the climber is coming down, he or she knows that they are being taken care of and don’t have to carry the burden of stress and uncertainty. The trust in their belay partner causes a bond to be formed. On the flip side, if the rope is always slack even though the belayer said they would take care of them, the climber has to be extra careful to watch where they step so they don’t get hurt. Relationships are a lot like a climber and belayer, you must build trust for each other otherwise it can put great strain and stress on your relationship.

One way that you can communicate a respect for the other person in a relationship is to set boundaries. Most people think that boundaries are in place so that you don’t cross lines, which is correct, but they exist more for the respect of the other person. When you are dating, you should set boundaries early in a relationship and make sure that you clearly communicate these to each other. You should also have freedom to talk openly about your boundaries, and if you notice that you may be getting yourself into situations that lead to compromise, it might be time for you to re-evaluate your relationship and your boundaries. Giving into something you have committed not to do can get you into trouble, and will break down the respect and trust you have tried so hard to build. If you play with fire you will get burned exactly like when you play or cross boundaries, you will get hurt.

So often relationships end up becoming more about what we can get out of them rather than what we can give into them. When we are selfish, we begin only to care about what is best for us. Relationships are not an I but a we adventure. We have to walk though relationships centered on others rather than ourselves. This doesn’t mean that we will never get anything that benefits us, but your relationship will be much stronger if you focus more on your significant other than own yourself. This becomes critical as your relationship moves to higher levels because in the hard times you have to work for each other, not against each other.

Over the next few weeks we will be looking at ways to strengthen your relationship not only with the person you are friends with, dating, engaged, or married to, but also how to grow your relationship to God. We are excited about these series of blogs and hope that you are encouraged to press into deeper relationships.

We have set up a Facebook group for the series that you can be a part of and discuss each week’s post. Check it out at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=68351964049

Dive Deep,

KC