To have good relationships we have to first look back at the beginning of Creation. God created the first relationship between people in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. When He created Adam he saw that it was not good for man to be alone so He created Eve to be his companion. God created us with a sense of community and need for relationships. If we truly want to have good relationships, we have to start with a firm foundation built on the solid principles of God.

When we discover a deeper relationship in Christ it flows over into our relationships with others. To grow those deeper relationships we have to be in constant communication with not only our Father in Heaven but also those who are our friends, boy/girlfriends, fiance’s, and spouses. We should be able to have conversations with those closest to us about our relationships. If we learn how to apply this and push through the awkward moments, we have a chance to affect a statistic that says most marriages end in failure. We have to inspire positive change within us.

Sometimes we get scared that our relationships will fall if we keep open communication with God and our significant other. On God’s side we get scared that if He takes control over our relationships that we might not get to keep the person that we are in a relationship with now. We also sometimes think that if we talk about issues that are awkward we could end up losing someone as well. We have to learn how to trust God first and be obedient to what He says, even if it means ending a relationship. Trust is vital to relational success. If we don’t learn to trust in God we will never be able to trust in others.

One of the most common mistakes that people make in relationships is not setting boundaries early in the relationship.  If we build our relationships correctly we can have the awkward conversation and set boundaries that will direct us in the way of purity, not promiscuity. If we really want to be different we need to rebel against the norm of breaking boundaries and set them in a way that is pleasing to God.

When relationships are built on the solid foundation of Christ, everything else will fall into place. Relationships won’t be so hard to figure out if we trust God and have open communication with Him about our relationships. He will direct us in a way that shows us what boundaries to follow so that we can remain pure in Him. We have to become different than the rest of the world and fight against the inward desire to do things on our own. One day we will be able to see more marriages working and relationships building. Change can only come when we decide to do relationships God’s way and not our way.

We hope that you have enjoyed the past weeks in our Awkward Relationship series. As this comes to a close, we hope that you are encouraged to pursue a relationship with God and allow for Him to control your earthly ones. Next week, we will be talking about some of the questions we have received about Dive Deep Ministries and announcing our new series to start on April 20. If you have any specific questions about our ministry that you would like to have incorporated into next week’s post, please send us an e-mail at kyle@divedeepministries.org.

Have a great week in the Lord!

Dive Deep,

KC

The coolest thing about relationships is that they were not just some random idea that someone thought of, but God came up with the big idea in the first place. In the Garden of Eden, God saw that it was not good for man to be alone so He created woman. Maybe it was God trying to create a better version of man but we believe that when He created man, relationships were also created.  Adam and Eve were quite happy until they fell into sin and had an awkward moment when they tried to hide from God. They were ashamed, so they hid and were eventually thrown out of the Garden. The idea is that we can’t hide when we mess up our relationship with God, and we should strive to be more in tune with Him.

Some of the most common issues that create problems for relationships are bad communication, lack of trust, money or job issues, and selfishness. Relationships that have these problems in existence encounter many awkward moments. Communication is key to a successful relationship. We also must take time to listen to the other party and make an effort to understand what they are trying to tell us. Maybe communication problems will never go away, but we can improve our communication skills to overcome awkward moments in our relationships.

Relationships that do not have a strong basis of trust can create instability. If you think of a rock climber that is repelling down a mountain, that person has to fully trust their belay partner on the ground. If the belayer says they will take care of the climber and follows though with this, it builds greater trust. When the climber is coming down, he or she knows that they are being taken care of and don’t have to carry the burden of stress and uncertainty. The trust in their belay partner causes a bond to be formed. On the flip side, if the rope is always slack even though the belayer said they would take care of them, the climber has to be extra careful to watch where they step so they don’t get hurt. Relationships are a lot like a climber and belayer, you must build trust for each other otherwise it can put great strain and stress on your relationship.

One way that you can communicate a respect for the other person in a relationship is to set boundaries. Most people think that boundaries are in place so that you don’t cross lines, which is correct, but they exist more for the respect of the other person. When you are dating, you should set boundaries early in a relationship and make sure that you clearly communicate these to each other. You should also have freedom to talk openly about your boundaries, and if you notice that you may be getting yourself into situations that lead to compromise, it might be time for you to re-evaluate your relationship and your boundaries. Giving into something you have committed not to do can get you into trouble, and will break down the respect and trust you have tried so hard to build. If you play with fire you will get burned exactly like when you play or cross boundaries, you will get hurt.

So often relationships end up becoming more about what we can get out of them rather than what we can give into them. When we are selfish, we begin only to care about what is best for us. Relationships are not an I but a we adventure. We have to walk though relationships centered on others rather than ourselves. This doesn’t mean that we will never get anything that benefits us, but your relationship will be much stronger if you focus more on your significant other than own yourself. This becomes critical as your relationship moves to higher levels because in the hard times you have to work for each other, not against each other.

Over the next few weeks we will be looking at ways to strengthen your relationship not only with the person you are friends with, dating, engaged, or married to, but also how to grow your relationship to God. We are excited about these series of blogs and hope that you are encouraged to press into deeper relationships.

We have set up a Facebook group for the series that you can be a part of and discuss each week’s post. Check it out at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=68351964049

Dive Deep,

KC