Awkward Relationships: Boundaries

When most people hear the word boundaries, they instantly think that they are only set up to spoil your fun. They don’t allow you to do certain things you want to do, but on the other side they also protect you. We are surrounded by boundaries in everything we do, from warnings on labels to police officers that patrol the streets to enforce the boundaries of the law. These boundaries are in place so that you have respect for other people and property, and for a relationship to be successful you must set boundaries early.

If we look back at the story of Samson we see a great example where God gave him boundaries, but Samson decided to go against them. Judges tells us that before Samson was born he was chosen to be a Nazarene, set apart by God to deliver Israel from the Philistines. God also gave Samson boundaries and commanded that he never cut his hair. As Samson grew up things were good. He was blessed by God and given great physical strength.  One day he was walking down the road and he saw a prostitute so he went to spend the night with her. This is where Samson’s downfall began with something that he probably didn’t think much of, but it significantly impacted the rest of the story.

Samson got into a habit of giving into women when they would nag him about things. After he saw the prostitute he saw another Philistine woman named Delilah and he fell in love with her. Out of Delilah’s greed and being bribed by the Philistines she began to ask him about what made him strong. At first he lied to her several times,  but she finally nagged him enough and he gave into her. He reveled the true reason he had strength was because he never cut his hair. That night Delilah shaved his head. The next morning she cried out to Samson that the Philistines were upon him. Samson discovered the Lord had left him and he no longer had the strength he had been blessed with by God. He decided to cross a boundary God had set for him. In the end of the story, Samson is killed by the Philistines.

There is much to be learned from Samson’s story and he exhibits many similarities to us. The Bible tells us that we are made in God’s image. Although we are born into sin, Jesus has redeemed us from sin. As Christ followers we are set apart from the rest of the world just as Samson was. We may not have super strength, but God is our strength. He has also set boundaries for us. When we cross over those boundaries we disappoint God. He doesn’t leave us, but He is saddened by our actions. We then must deal with the consequences of those actions.

God has given us some boundaries for relationships so we don’t end up like Samson. He is very clear in the Bible about intimacy before marriage and putting Him before everyone else. These boundaries are not set up to stop us from having fun, but to protect us from getting hurt. So many people constantly break boundaries in relationships and other areas of their lives. Since we live in a fallen world, as Christians we should be upholding the boundaries God has set forth. We are called to be different, not like the rest of the world. (Romans 12:2)

If we begin to follow the standards of purity that God has set for us, God will bless our actions. We need to strive to run from things that would make us compromise God’s standards. This is the only way we can be free to have relationships that are pleasing to God and truly enjoy the relationship. God wants your relationships to be set on Him, and follow His ideas makes for a much better ending than Samson had. We have to take a stand in this fallen world that we will follow the boundaries even when its not socially acceptable, because we know that our lives will be filled with greater treasure from God.

Sometimes we all stumble and cross some boundaries, even if they aren’t in relationships. We begin to feel like God hates us, and are afraid to come back to Him. The reason why Jesus died on the cross was to give us life! He wants us to come back to Him when we stray and cross boundaries. He seeks to restore us and help us though the pain of our mistakes.

If you have been living outside of the boundaries God has set for you, I encourage you to begin to come back to Him. It may feel awkward at first not only between you and God, but also in your relationships where you have been crossing boundaries. This may require some changes of you that are going to feel weird, but in the end God is worth it. He is longing for you to reach out to Him and lean on Him to get back on track. The greatest thing about God is that you can always come back. His love and forgiveness are always available. Boundaries protect us from spiritual, emotional, and sometimes even physical harm. God is our protector, and for Him to move in our lives we must live within His boundaries.

Dive Deep,

KC