So this is the first official post on our new blog! We hope that you like the change. As we have talked about, I’m going to give some insite onto relationships. Now there are a lot of things I don’t know, nor understand about relationships, but I feel like for us as Christians relationships are very important.
Relationships are a broad topic, so to narrow it down, I want to talk about dating relationships. Christians as a hole have different views on the aspects of dating. Those around us in the world have a different view as well. So we as young people can get very confused on what exactly is dating, how do you date, and how do you make sure its Biblical.
To have a successful relationship with anyone, there are a few key things you have to understand. First and foremost, you have to have a strong relationships with God. Since God came up with this whole idea of community, how do we expect to have Godly relationships if we don’t have a strong foundation?
God explains the concept of love to us in 1st Cor 13:4-7 when He says
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
This is what true and perfect love is. It is the love that Christ showed as He walked among us.
So now that we know what love is, how do we date as Christians? Most people see dating as a way to meet up, hook up, and dump the person. I think its much different than that for Christians.
Christians should be dating a person because they are looking for a husband or wife, not for a girl or boy friend. While you are dating someone, you should get to know them for who they really are, not who they seem to be. You become interested more in them than yourself, and build a friendship that is solid. I highly suggest you have a strong friendship before going into a dating relationship with someone. This gives you a solid foundation, and helps the level of success for your relationship.
There are lots of opinions on how Christians should date, from group dates, to chaperoned dates, and many more. They all have valid points, but I think fundamentally you can have a safe one on one date, as long as you take some things into consideration.
All relationships should have boundaries. These boundaries are set up out of respect for the other person, not as a line to see how close you can get to without crossing it. Boundaries must be firm, and shouldn’t be moved to justify the couple crossing a line. If a boundary is broken, the couple should talk about that instance and work to keep the boundary in tact. If either party is unwilling to do this, it might be time to reconsider some things within the relationship.
You must never put yourself in a situation that could lead to compromise. As a couple, don’t be afraid to openly talk about type of situations to stay away from. Make sure you stay away from the boundary line. In sports, you don’t play your game on the sideline of the court, you play it in the middle. Apply this same thinking to relationships. Once you set a boundary, stay back from it. If you do this, you won’t have to worry about crossing them.
Christians have to approach a date as wanting to learn more about the other person, not talk about themselves the whole time. Learn to ask questions about the other person, and learn more about them. You will have your chance to speak along the way, but get to know more about the person you are dating. After all, you are dating them to see if they are the right mate.
Make time for God in your dating relationship. So often I hear of people wanting a relationship to work out because they want it to. If we never go to our Creator and ask Him what He thinks about our relationship, our foundation gets cracked. Allow time for prayer individually and as a couple to go to God about your relationship. This may seem weird at first, but I believe that God blesses relationships that have Him as the center. If you are afraid to go to God about your relationship, you probably need to do some self evaluations to remind yourself why you are in the relationship.
Your dating relationship should always strenghten your relationship with God and your relationship with others. God should always come first in the relationship, because if your significant other starts to become your everything, you are incidentally making that person your God.
It is possible for you to have a dating relationship as a Christian. Make sure your relationship is Christ centered, and you set boundries out of respect. Be willing to spend time in prayer about the relationship, and God will honor those efforts. We have to be attentive to His will for our lives. Work on your God relationship, so that way when the time comes to be in a dating relationship, you already have a strong connection with your Heavenly Father. After all, He was the one who created relationships, so who better to have one with than the Creator of them.
May God bless your week! Look for a new post coming next Monday.
Dive Deep,
KC
